Talking to Boys

Are there any boys in my life?

No.

Why?

A variety of reasons.

Are there likely to be any?

Probably not, if I don't make changes.

Is it because I don't want a relationship?

A little bit.

You see, it's more because I didn't want a relationship. I avoided guys for a lot of years. Because I wasn't ready. Because they didn't like me. Because I was told not to look, just to wait for God. Because I don't like the drama of opposite sex relationships. Because I don't like being hit on.

Now I have bad habits. I stay home. I avoid eye contact. I barely talk to guys I like. I glare at guys I dislike. I focus on the relationships that have always mattered most -- female ones.

How much am I willing to change for a possibility that I'm not totally sure that I want, for a possibility that I'm sure I don't want to focus on?